How often is your body there, but your mind somewhere else? It’s common for us as brainy species to think ahead, give our brains something to do. This serves us at times where we need to have a plan and it saves us from boring meetings to drift away in our thoughts. AND it might have a cost.
Especially for high performing quick thinkers, it is common to always think ahead, connecting the dots quickly and come up with solutions and strategies. The brain loves it and in many circumstances it is a true superpower.
Where this superpower may turn into a pitfall is when thinking mode is continuously switched on. People around you may not be able to reach you on a different level than thinking. When relating on a another level is required, it may get bumpy. If someone for example just needs you to listen to them without anything needing to being fixed or solved, it may cause frustration for both of you.
If you recognise yourself in being a good problem solver and you know this frustration place where it seems the other person doesn’t want your solutions, try presence. Presence? Yes…. Just…..offering ….you being there.
It may feel awkward at first. Useless even to not offer the gift of what you’re good at. And it may open up something bigger than you can imagine. Your presence may be enough.
For many of us that is not an easy thing to take in. My presence is enough? Me just being there, fully present? Thoughts may pop up that you need to do or deliver something to be worthy and get approval.
What may help you to step into this ‘just be present with the other person’ mode is ask the other person what they need. That question in itself has a quality of observing and not immediately getting into any direction. Sit and wait for the answer, even if it takes a while. This is a first step into offering your full presence.
Nature knows presence. Picture taken in Sweden.